Korean Dating Slang: From 썸 to 사귐 (The Stages K-Dramas Never Explain)

Every K-drama romance follows the same pattern: 썸 → 밀당 → 고백 → 사귐. But what do these words actually mean? Let me break it down.

The Korean Dating Timeline

In Korean, relationships have very specific stages. It’s not just “dating” or “not dating” - there’s a whole vocabulary for everything in between.

처음 만남 → 썸 → 밀당 → 고백 → 사귐 → ???
(First meeting → Something → Push-pull → Confession → Dating → ???)

Quick Overview

1. 썸 (sseom) / 썸 타다 (sseom tada) - “Having something”

🎯 When to Use It

This is THE most important Korean dating word. 썸 comes from the English “something” - as in “there’s something between us.”

썸 타다 = to be in the 썸 stage

It’s that magical, confusing phase where:

• You text every day
• You clearly like each other
• BUT neither has confessed yet
• You’re not officially dating

💬 Real Example

(Are you dating that person? / No, not yet… we’re in the 썸 stage / lol how long are you gonna stay in 썸 / I don’t know ㅠㅠ I can’t confess)

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

My husband and I were in the 썸 stage for THREE MONTHS before he finally confessed. I was going crazy. “Does he like me? Does he not? Why won’t he just SAY something?!”

Looking back, it’s cute. At the time? Torture.

📝 Related Terms

2. 밀당 (mildang) - “Push and pull”

🎯 When to Use It

밀당 = 밀다 (push) + 당기다 (pull)

It’s the dating game of playing hard to get. One minute you’re super interested, the next you’re cold. K-dramas are FULL of this.

You know that scene where the main lead ignores the love interest to make them jealous? That’s 밀당.

💬 Real Example

(Why isn’t he contacting me suddenly? / Isn’t he doing 밀당? / Ugh really? I hate this stuff / lol just wait a bit)

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

I’m terrible at 밀당. I’m the type to reply to texts in 0.5 seconds. My friends say that’s why my 썸 stage with my husband lasted so long - he wasn’t sure if I liked him because I liked EVERYONE apparently. (I was just being friendly!)

Real talk: I think 밀당 is kind of toxic? But it’s definitely a thing in Korean dating culture.

📝 Practice Examples

1. Doing it: 밀당 중이야 (mildang jungiya) - “I’m doing push-pull”
2. Asking about it: 밀당하는 거야? (mildanghaneun geoya?) - “Are you playing hard to get?”
3. Complaining: 밀당 좀 그만해 (mildang jom geumanhae) - “Stop playing games”

3. 고백 (gobaek) - “Confession”

🎯 When to Use It

This is THE moment in every K-drama. 고백 = confession of love.

In Korean dating, you don’t just “start dating.” Someone has to formally confess their feelings. It’s like a verbal contract that transforms 썸 into 사귐.

💬 Classic Confession Lines

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

My husband’s confession was so Korean. We were walking home from dinner and he suddenly said:

“나… 너 좋아해. 우리 사귈래?” (I… like you. Want to date?)

I said yes so fast he probably thought I was desperate. I WAS.

📝 Practice Examples

1. Planning to confess: 오늘 고백할 거야 (oneul gobaekhal geoya) - “I’m going to confess today”
2. Asking about it: 고백 받았어? (gobaek badasseo?) - “Did you receive a confession?”
3. Romantic: 고백할 말이 있어 (gobaekhal mari isseo) - “I have something to confess”

4. 사귀다 (sagwida) - “To date officially”

🎯 When to Use It

After the 고백, you’re officially 사귀다! This means exclusive, committed dating. Not “seeing each other” - DATING.

In Korea, this distinction is important. You’re either 사귀는 사이 (in a dating relationship) or you’re not.

💬 Real Example

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

When my husband and I started 사귀다, the first thing my friends asked was: “몇 일?” (What day?)

In Korea, couples count the days they’ve been together. Our “100일” (100 days) anniversary was a bigger deal than our first month.

📝 Related Terms

5. 남친 / 여친 (namchin / yeochin) - “Boyfriend / Girlfriend”

🎯 When to Use It

These are shortened versions of:

• 남자친구 (namjachingu) → 남친 (namchin) = boyfriend
• 여자친구 (yeojachingu) → 여친 (yeochin) = girlfriend

💬 Real Example

(What are you doing this weekend? / Date with my boyfriend hehe / I’m jealous ㅠㅠ)

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

I still catch myself saying “남친” when talking about my husband with friends. Old habits die hard. Now I should say “남편” (nampyeon - husband) but… 남친 just rolls off the tongue.

📝 Full vs Shortened Forms

6. 애인 (aein) - “Lover”

🎯 When to Use It

애인 is gender-neutral and sounds a bit more mature/romantic than 남친/여친. It literally means “love person.”

You’ll hear this in:

• K-dramas (classic romantic word)
• When someone doesn’t want to specify gender
• Slightly older speakers

💬 Real Example

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

My mom calls my dad her “애인” even after 30+ years of marriage. It’s sweet and kind of old-fashioned. Goals, honestly.

7. 커플 (keopeul) - “Couple”

🎯 When to Use It

From the English “couple” - used for dating couples. You’ll see this everywhere in Korea.

💬 Couple Culture Things

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

My husband refused to wear 커플티 when we were dating. “It’s embarrassing,” he said.

Fast forward to now: he proudly wears matching pajamas with me AND our daughter. Parenthood changes people.

📝 Practice Examples

1. Spotting a couple: 저 커플 너무 귀여워 (jeo keopeul neomu gwiyeowo) - “That couple is so cute”
2. Couple items: 우리도 커플링 할까? (urido keopeulling halkka?) - “Should we get couple rings?”

8. 헤어지다 (heeojida) - “To break up”

🎯 When to Use It

The sad ending. 헤어지다 means to break up or part ways.

💬 Real Example

(Hey… I broke up yesterday / What?? Why??? / Just… we weren’t compatible / Stay strong ㅠㅠ let’s meet tomorrow)

🏠 Cera’s Real Life

I’ve been the “let’s meet and drink” friend too many times. Korean breakups require: soju, fried chicken, and a good listener.

📝 Related Terms

🎯 Quick Review Quiz

1. What stage comes before 고백?

• A) 사귐
• B) 썸
• C) 헤어짐

2. What does 밀당 mean?

• A) First date
• B) Push and pull game
• C) Break up

3. 남친 is short for…?

• A) 남자 친구
• B) 남자 사람 친구
• C) 남편

Bonus: K-Drama Confession Lines

Want to confess like a K-drama lead? Here are some classic lines:

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• Korean Texting 101 - How couples text
• Korean Food Reactions - For your first date dinner

My dating days are over, but I live vicariously through K-dramas now. It’s healthier this way.